It’s my party…
… and I cry if want to. Whenever I hear It’s my party, I think about that song instantly. And I start singing in my head. Very annoying actually, as it gets stuck in my head for hours.
Another year older
And today, it’s ‘my party’, because it’s my birthday! Yep, another year older. But don’t worry, I don’t have to cry. I’m grateful that I am allowed to get old. Some people are not as fortunate. Think about it. Though it is confronting sometimes, when you’re 46 and practically the oldest mom at school of 6 and 8-year olds. Thinking about it, I could be some other mom’s mom. Which would make me a grandma. Ouch…
Not much different from work. All new colleagues are in their early twenties. And when you talk with your ‘older’ colleagues (meaning: same age) about tv programs or music from a while ago, you’ll get blank stares from the younger ones. Those moments, you feel ancient.
I don’t think the age difference really is a problem, neither with colleagues nor with other parents. And I think that goes both ways. Now there’s this saying that you are as old as you feel. Between my ears, I think I got stuck somewhere between 10 and 20 years ago. You just don’t consider yourself as old. Funny thing.
But I can’t deny it. Staying young mentally is one thing. Physically, the decline definitely is showing. Grey hairs, a few more wrinkles, skin that’s not as elastic anymore, small pains. And… reading glasses. Since last year.
I realised one day that I did see a bit fuzzy when close by. Labels at the back of products were really hard to read. I just couldn’t distinguish the small letters anymore. And if you get dizzy if you keep focusing at your fork that you’re moving towards your mouth, you know it’s time to see an optician.
My hubby had noticed it way before me. He thought I was ‘suffering’ from bad eye sight for quite a while. ‘Excuse me?’. Well, all those ‘don’t hold that thing right up at my nose, how can I ever see that’ sort of moments. ‘Oh, shut up, that’s not true!’. Uh, well, it is. Denial? No, not really. I honestly had not linked it together yet. Whatever. It’s really not a bad thing. No problem at all to get reading glasses. And there are some very nice frames available nowadays. If you need glasses, might as well choose some fashionable ones. And that’s how I embrace those little (and big) signs of getting older. I’m happy that I live to see them.
No party just yet
I haven’t really celebrated my birthday for years. Not because I don’t like to celebrate it. But September is always a very busy month. And next month, our youngest celebrates his birthday. So, to make our lives just a little easier, I celebrate my own birthday together with our son. We keep it ‘his’ party though. It’s his day then and I don’t want to take that away from him.
On or around my birthday, we often go out for dinner, just the four of us. To make that day just a little special. I’ve actually never made myself a real birthday cake. I do bake a lot of cakes for a party. And for sharing cake at work. Everything is homemade then. My dear colleagues don’t expect anything less by now, which means that I really can’t show up with a cake from the store (I wouldn’t dare) 😉
This year, I thought it was time that I did make myself a birthday cake. Having a little party anyway. When we celebrate ‘our’ party next month, our son can choose the theme. It will be all his cake. Finally, for the first time, my own birthday cake. Isn’t a cute??
This year, I got a really special gift. I already knew, of course. But that doesn’t make it less special. Something I’ve wanted for a very long time. A mommy jewel.
I’ve searched for the right jewellery for quite a while. I wanted something with the names of our children. Including the name of our little angel, Zoë. That I could always carry her with me, visibly (I always carry her in my heart).
But most jewellery was too sweet for me, with hearts and flowers. I had seen some beautiful rings, but to order personalised rings online was a bit too risky for me. And finally, I found the perfect one. Sweet, yet cool. And when my husband suggested it as a present for my birthday… I had to say yes J
It’s so pretty…
I’ve had a wonderful weekend with my loved ones. Today, it’s business as usual. I’m at work, but we just keep on partying here. As mentioned above, my dear colleagues expect get a treat or two. And I would really not want to disappoint them, so I’ve been baking a few good hours yesterday. And because I love to do that, the kids (and the hubby) pop in the kitchen for some tasting (read: hovering around constantly to lick and scrape the beaters, scrapers and bowls) and it’s basically a lot of fun, I totally don’t mind doing just that.
On to the next year 😉
Thank you for reading!